R/hello.R

Defines functions hello squirrel planet

Documented in hello planet squirrel

#' hello
#'
#' @description
#' hello returns the famous catchfrase of Terry at Applied Cryogenics,
#' which he uses to greet the newly defrosted after they are reanimated.
#'
#' @section Warning:
#' If you meet a newly reaminated  cryogenics user, do not be Terry.
#' He's a professional.
#'
#' @export
hello <- function() {
  print("Welcome to the world of tomorrow!")
}


#' medschool
#'
#' @description
#' medschool returns a family-friendly Zoidberg quote.
#'
#' @section Warning:
#' Do not operate heavy machinery within 8 hours of using this function.
#'
#' @export
medschool <- function (){
  print("Fry, it's been years since medical school, so remind me. Disembowling in your species, fatal or non-fatal?")
}


#' nixon
#'
#' @description
#' nixon returns a quote from the head of ex-president Richard Nixon.
#'
#' @section Warning:
#' The head-in-a-jar idea, at least in 2019, is only a philosophical thought
#' experiment. Please do not attempt.
#'
#' @export
nixon <- function (){
  print("AROOOO")
}


#' squirrel
#'
#' @description
#' squirrel returs a quote from the head of ex-president Richard Nixon.
#'
#' @section Note:
#' No animals were harmed in the making of this quote.
#' Literally.
#' The squirrel did not fall, dispite Nixon's best efforts.
#'
#' @export
squirrel <- function(){
  print("fall, dammit!")
}


#' planet
#'
#' @description
#' planet returns a highly-memed quote from Dr. Farnsworth.
#'
#' @section Other Uses:
#' Helpful to use when you recieve a comment from a reviewer 2 that suggests
#' that one of your validated, highly supported measure choices was "hardly a
#' good choice, what were you thinking?" and instead recommends another measure
#' that would be better (self-cited) and insists that you sample your thousands
#' of participants again.
#'
#' I'm not bitter, you are.
#'
#' @export
planet <- function(){
  print("I don't want to live on this planet anymore")
}
mayagannbociek/nibbler documentation built on Dec. 25, 2019, 5:13 a.m.